I can’t leave you here
by damagederudite
Summary: When Jeanine is first imprisoned Beatrice Prior is happy and at peace once again. But what happens when she sees the way that Jeanine is being treated?
1. Losing someone you love

As I walked past Jeanine's cell I heard the usual muffled screams that echoed down the desolate halls every morning. Evelyn was really doing a number on her. A part of me ached for the women who was alone and powerless against the fierce punishments Evelyn was throwing at her. Another part of me believed that the women who murdered my family and friends was finally getting what she deserved.

This time sounded different though. She was begging. In the whole time Jeanine had been here she had never begged. She was planning on going out with what little dignity she had left I guess. Once an Erudite always an Erudite. I decided to look through the small window on the cell door to see what was going on. She was kneeling on the floor franticly trying to put pressure on. A gunshot wound? There was someone injured in there.

I couldn't help but barge in there. As I got closer I could see that there were tears running down her face. And what she was saying was finally audible.

"No. No. No. Hold on." It was barely any more than a whisper.

I saw Evelyn in the corner with a gun in her hand and a woman on the floor who looked about the same age as Jeanine. The woman was losing a lot and I mean a lot of blood. It was becoming barely noticeable that she was Erudite as her dark red blood covered her light blue blouse and navy-blue pencil skirt. What had this woman done? And why was Jeanine so frantic and grief stricken?

The woman spoke "Jeanine? Jeanine look at me," Jeanine turned to look at her, more tears brimming in her eyes. "It's going to be alright. You are going to be alright."

"How can you say that? How can you be about to leave me and say that?" Jeanine practically screamed.

"Because you are strong. I believe in you. I always have, and I always will." Replied the woman whilst wiping a tear from Jeanine's cheek.

"I can't be without you." Jeanine stuttered.

Who on Earth was this woman?

"Yes, you can. I love you. Look after yourself. Don't try and starve yourself like I know you will. Don't you dare put any sharp objects near your body. I mean that. Let yourself feel." The woman said calmly.

"I love you too Clara." Jeanine whispered, pulling who I now know is called Clara close to her body.

So, she was Jeanine's girlfriend or something? I didn't know she was gay.

"I promise I won't." Jeanine reassured.

Then the next thing I knew Clara was dead. And Jeanine was screaming. And Evelyn was. Laughing? How could she laugh at this?

"How could you?" Jeanine wailed.

She was innocent!" Jeanine screamed.

Evelyn just continued to laugh.

"Anyone associated with you is anything but innocent." Evelyn replied icily.

"Well I guess you should kill yourself then." Jeanine snarled.

"What?" I accidently said out loud.

"Oh, you didn't know? Before Evelyn went of on her little escapade and faked her death she had an affair. It was with me. I shortly cut it off after meeting Clara. I realised that if I was going to be with someone it should be with someone nice." Jeanine remarked.

Evelyn looked shocked. She walked out. Jeanine went back to comforting Clara. It was in that moment I knew I couldn't let things go on like this. I had to help Jeanine.


	2. A broken mother

**a/n I would like to mention that I do not own Divergent just a few of the characters are mine.**

For about ten minutes I am just frozen. The ice-cold leader of Erudite was currently on the floor crying over someone she loved. And a woman? I am not an expert on Erudite customs, but I know enough to know that this would be greatly frowned upon. Procreation was the only reason that Erudites would get together and since two women couldn't procreate it would simply be a distraction from work. I couldn't help but wonder how long this secret relationship had been going on. Looking at the distress it had caused Jeanine and the way Carla had spoke to her before her untimely demise would indicate that it was no fling.

After being stuck in thought for so long I thought that maybe Jeanine could benefit from someone trying to comfort her, so I slowly approached and kneeled beside her. I slowly started to place my hand on her back and she tensed up at the first sign of contact. She didn't like to be touched ok.

"Hey." I said soothingly "It's going to be ok."

I tried to put my hand on her back again and this time she accepted it. We sat there like that for about five minutes until a few of Evelyn's lackeys came to take away Carla's body.

"Wait." Jeanine spoke up hoarsely.

She ran over to her body and took what looked like a locket off from round her neck. I would have to ask about that later.

Turns out I wouldn't need to. Jeanine came back over to where I was sitting and opened the locket. When I looked over her shoulder I could see a small family picture with Jeanine, Clara and their, child? Perhaps I would have something to ask about after all. Jeanine clasped the locket round her neck and held onto it.

"What am I going to tell Emily?" It was barely a whisper. I would not have heard it if I wasn't so close to her that I could smell her minty breath. Still got the Erudite hygiene, even in prison.

So, the child's name was Emily? I would have never thought that the cold and calculating Jeanine Matthews would be a mother. Who was going to look after Emily now? One mother had just died ad the other was facing a life sentence of torment or possibly even execution. This was an even bigger mess then I thought it was.

**a/n This is ridiculously short and so was the previous chapter so sorry about that. The next chapter is going to be a prequel and hopefully that will be longer. Thanks for reading.**


	3. How they met (Prequel)

**a/n Here is the prequel. It is all out of Jeanine's point of view and they are 30 years old. **

I sighed as I looked at the mountain of documents on my desk. This was going to be a long day.

About three hours later I had finally gone through all the reports and there was just one document left. A case file.

"Great." I muttered to myself.

Just what I needed today another person to make factionless, imprison or even execute. On the first page there was a picture of a thirty-year-old woman with dark brown hair, pale skin and a bright but respectful smile. I turned to the next page.

Name: Carla Smith

Sex: Female

Date of birth: 16th February 2241

Faction of origin: Dauntless

Faction of choosing: Erudite

Parents: Alice and Simon Smith

Siblings: n/a

Charges: Conversing with parents at non-interfaction events.

I closed the file and laughed to myself that's what she was being charged with. Poor ignorant girl. I picked up the phone and rang my assistant.

"Dr Matthews? Is there anything I can do for you?" Asked my assistant.

"Yes. Could you call Clara Smith to my office please." I answered.

"Of course, Ms. Will you be requiring any further assistance?" Responded Susan.

"No thank you." I dismissed and put the phone down.

About half an hour later a nervous looking Clara came bustling into my office.

"Hello please take a seat." I said sweetly and indicated with my hand that she take the chair in front of my desk.

She clumsily sat down and looked down at her hands.

"Do you know why you are here?" I asked calmly.

"Yes, I believe I do ma'am. I am sorry. Please don't make me factionless." She stuttered.

I sighed and laughed a little.

"Of course not dear. I would just like to know why you visited your parents." I said softly.

"My father is sick." She said quietly.

"Oh, I see. Do you happen to know what is wrong with him?" I asked caringly.

"There is something wrong with his cells." She replied, tears welling up in her eyes.

I felt a twinge of sympathy in my stomach. I stood and indicated her to follow me. I exited my office and started to go down the long winding halls.

"Excuse me for asking ma'am but where are we going." She asked curiously.

"You can call me Jeanine and we are going to my apartment." I replied.

Once we arrived at my apartment I clicked a button on the screen on the door.

"Please clearly state your name." Sounded a mechanical voice.

"Jeanine Matthews." I stated clearly.

'Scanning sound frequencies' appeared on the screan.

About 30 seconds later the door clicked open.

"Sorry but anything said in my office is privy to investigation and this seems like a rather private conversation." I explained.

I walked over to the sofa in the corner of the open planned living area and beckoned for her to join me.

"How would you feel if we worked on a way to cure whatever illness has unfortunately afflicted your father?" I asked.

"Wow. Ummm. I would love that!" Clara exclaimed.

"Great!" I exclaimed with an equal amount of enthusiasm.

"Come to my office tomorrow morning at ten and we will get started." I stated.

"Ok that will be great." Clara reassured.

I showed her to the door and went back to my office.

I finished work at about eleven. Yeah, a bit of a workaholic.

At midnight Evelyn turned up at my door.

I let her in and gave her a glass of wine.

She leaned in and kissed me moving to unbutton my blouse.

"Wait." I said suddenly.

Evelyn looked at me.

"Leave." I said, not being able to stop the words from coming out my mouth.

"Babe what's wrong." Said Evelyn seductively.

"No don't do that. Evelyn this is wrong for so many reasons and I can't do it anymore. You have a three-year-old you should be spending time with him. So please, please go home." I pleaded.

Evelyn tried to kiss me again. I pushed her away, but she tried again.

"Stop!" I screamed, punching her.

Evelyn shook her head and walked out.

What had I done? I had just destroyed the only relationship I had. I downed my glass of wine and got changed into my pyjamas. I got into bed and prayed for sleep to come so I could stop thinking about what I had just done.

The next day I felt like crap but at least I had a new project to look forward to.

I walked to my wardrobe and picked out an aqua blue dress. I took a shower and got dressed. I then applied light make up and put my hair in a bun. I headed down the stairs and put some coffee in my flask, not even thinking about the possibility of eating breakfast. I then grabbed my bag, put on my heels and lab coat and walked out the door.

When Carla arrived we immediately started working, she had bought DNA samples from her dad. At first, she was a little confused about what we were doing but she was a fast learner and was a great help towards the end of the day. We stopped working at eight and we talked for about half an hour until she left to go home.

This routine continued for about three weeks; each day we were getting closer, closer to finding a cure for her dad and closer as friends. In the last few days we stayed later and put in extra effort until we eventually found a cure and healed her dad. This was also the same day that we kissed.

I had invited her back to my apartment to celebrate and it all happened so fast. One minute we were chatting and the next minute her lips were on mine. I knew that it was wrong. I knew that it was illegal, yet I didn't care. I had been with a woman before, but it wasn't the same. Evelyn wasn't the same. Carla was bursting with life and excitement. Carla got me and understood me. She respected me. Evelyn was and did none of those things. Evelyn pressured into doing things and I realised that when Carla kissed me. I felt at ease and free.

We went slow. We would occasionally go around each other's apartments and we would sometimes kiss but that was it. That was until my 31st birthday. I didn't get along with my family and I didn't have any friends so all I had was Carla. She invited me around her house for dinner and we spoke and laughed for the longest time. That was until we decided that it was time. We had been with each other for nine months and I had never felt more comfortable with someone in my whole life. Not even with my ex-best friend Andrew Prior. Carla made the move. I guess she still had some Dauntless bravery left in her, unlike me the biggest Erudite nerd known to history. It didn't feel forced it felt natural and I will never regret it. It was in that moment that I knew I had made the right choice ending it with Evelyn. I loved Carla.

**a/n So this is how Jeanine and Carla met. More of Jeanine's past will be revealed but if you want another prequel like this then please let me know. Thanks for reading.**


	4. A good old-fashioned jailbreak

What was I going to do? Well I couldn't leave her there that was something I knew for sure. I could try getting her put under house arrest or something but who would they believe? The factionless leader who gave so many people their freedom and salvation or the sociopathic, sadistic ex-leader of Erudite? Both me and Jeanine were royally screwed. That was s-c-r-e-w-e-d! Screwed! My (well ex-boyfriend's I guess he will be once he finds out what I am going to do) Mother is a sadistic vengeful psychopath who killed an innocent woman and is torturing said woman's significant other every morning just for kicks. Great. Just great. To be honest there was just one option; a good old-fashioned jail break.

Now how I was going to break my damsel in distress out was a whole new problem. Evelyn trusts me, so I could just walk in there without the guards being suspicious. Now how would I get her out of the cell? I could say I was taking her out to kill her. Is that too dark? I would certainly get a little revenge on Jeanine if I made her think she was being led to her death. But hasn't she already been punished enough? Nah.

That night I put on the most concealing black clothes I had and headed to the prison. I walked round to Jeanine's cell and the guards let me in without question. Jeanine was sat staring at the wall. Her eyes glassy and her cheeks tear stained. I walked over to her.

"Get up." I demanded, I had to make this look real.

She just sat there. I yanked her up and pulled her to the door getting the gun out of my pocket. I looked at the guards and they seemed to understand. They stepped aside, leaving me room to drag a disturbingly calm Jeanine out of the cell. I really thought she would be more scared. It's sort of sad that she seems to have no regard for her life.

Once we were out of the prison I started to run.

"Where are we going?" She asked with the standard Erudite curiosity.

"I am saving your ass." I replied.

"Well thank you then." She said sarcastically.

I tutted. So selfish. I carried on running as fast as I could considering I was basically carrying someone almost the same height as me. We were about to exit the Erudite sector.

"Wait." Jeanine spoke up.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

"Emily. We need to get Emily." She was frantic.

"Ok. Ok. Where is she?" I asked.

Jeanine took off at a speed I had no idea an Erudite, let alone Jeanine Matthews, could muster. I started to sprint after her. She got to an apartment and started franticly putting a password into a screen. She pushed the door open and ran inside.

"Emily? Emily?" She started to scream.

A young girl, no older than six, emerged from behind a door.

"Mummy!" She ran over. "Wait where is Ma?" She asked, starting to get upset.

"Baby I am so sorry." Jeanine said gravely as she picked up the distraught girl.

"Look I am really sorry, but we have to go." I said apologetically.

Jeanine made sure Emily was securely holding onto her and she nodded. We started to run. We kept running. We heard gunshots, but we didn't stop. We couldn't stop. This wasn't just Jeanine's life anymore. This was the life of a young girl who had already lost one mother. Eventually we reached the fence.

Jeanine approached the keypad and inserted a password. Handy. The gate started to open, and we just ran. We didn't look back. Not until we were almost a mile from the city. Thankfully the gate shut behind us and hopefully Evelyn hadn't found out the password.

Now we had another problem. We were away from everything we knew.


	5. Dr Matthews

My worried thoughts were interrupted by Emily's cries.

"Ok. Ok. I know honey. I know. But I am here. Mummy's here." Jeanine said soothingly, bouncing Emily up and down on her side.

That was going to be fun. Why did I do this again? Because I am a nice person that's why. Damn my good nature.

Emily's cries started to dull down after about five minutes.

"How old is she?" I asked.

"She is going to be four in April." Jeanine replied tiredly.

"She acts younger." I said laughing.

"Yeah tell me about it." She replied with a small smile.

"So, have you been here before?" I asked curiously.

"Once." She answered. "I was much younger." She added. "Follow me."

At least she knew what we were doing because I had no idea. We hiked through the forest with Emily bouncing along behind us. Eventually we reached a small opening and Jeanine climbed inside, reaching out for me to pass Emily through. It was tight, but I managed to squeeze my way through. Jeanine was a lot fitter and resourceful then I had thought. She carried on walking through the tunnel holding onto Emily's hand and looking back every few seconds to check I was following. She started to climb up a rocky wall onto a ledge not to far up. I shook my head nothing was going to be easy with her, was it. I lifted Emily and Jeanine hauled her up. I then started to climb up slipping every so often, Jeanine giggling every time I did. Eventually I got to the top and Jeanine reassured me there wasn't far to go.

After a few more twists and turns we arrived at a locked door. Jeanine pulled a hairclip out of her hair and twisted it into a key like form. She jiggled it around in the keyhole for a bit and it eventually clicked open. Couldn't she have escaped on her own? She walked in and indicated for me to follow her. Emily had already run off ahead.

We continued down the hallway and got greeted by armed men. I looked at Jeanine desperate as they stated to circle round us. Jeanine pulled Emily closer to her.

"Dr Matthews." She stated.

What on Earth was she doing?

"Dr Jeanine Matthews." She stated louder.

The men started to lower their guns. I looked at her confused and she just winked at me.

"Wow!" You look different." One of the men exclaimed.

"Shall we lead you to Alex?" Another one of the men asked.

Jeanine nodded and smiled at me. We went down a series of halls until we arrived at a door. A women who I assumed was Alex ran out of the door and hugged Jeanine.

"Oh my god. How are you?" She exclaimed.

"Oh well other then my ex arresting me, torturing me and killing my wife I had a great time." Jeanine replied sarcastically.

Alex took a step back. "Clara? Oh, Jeanine I am so sorry."

"It is hell back in the city and David will certainly be invading soon." Jeanine stated, dismissing Alex's comment. It was clear that Clara was a sore spot for her and she didn't want to talk about her.

"Shit. Ok we are ready, let's do this." Alex replied confidently.

She turned to me and Emily, who I was holding onto tightly.

"Aww you had her." She exclaimed reaching out to take Jeanine's child from me. "And who are you if you don't mind me asking?" She asked me.

"This is Beatrice Prior." Jeanine said.

"Andrew Prior's daughter and genetically pure she is the last person I would expect to see you with." She chuckled at Jeanine.

"She quite possibly saved my life." Jeanine said gratefully.

"I broke her out of prison." I quickly added.

"Well thank you for saving my best friend." Alex said warmly.

I nodded in recognition. What the hell was this place? Who was David?


	6. Dr Matthews pt2

Alex and Jeanine spoke for a while longer until she decided that we were probably tired and told us that the only room available was Jeanine's old room since they decided to keep it the same in case she ever came back. Seems like Jeanine was here for a lot longer than I had originally interpreted. She handed Jeanine the key and I followed her down the hall, Emily running after her mother like her life depended on it.

It wasn't until we reached the door that I spoke up, "How do you know Alex?"

Jeanine sighed as if revealing a big secret, "I have known her since I was a young child. My family knew hers, and although mine were within the walls of our city and hers were outside them, they both shared similar ideals. Destroy the bureau. Equality for the damaged and the pure. My mother might as well have had a sign on my wall that read 'damaged lives matter'. I was trained to stop the bureau as soon as they found out about my intellectual capabilities and her family helped. When I became leader at only seventeen I was petrified about the attention I was suddenly getting and the responsibly I now had. So, I called Alex and she took me outside the walls to here. I stayed here for a few months, sending messages back to my assistant on what to do regarding public appearance and maintenance of the faction. Eventually the Choosing Ceremony came around and I had to return to handle the initiates, but I still came here occasionally and helped them with plans, serums etc."

I was at a loss for words. Jeanine realised I didn't know what to say so she just unlocked the door and indicated for me to enter. I was shocked about how much history there was between Jeanine and Alex.

As I entered the room I could see that they had moved nothing. There was still papers scattered all over the desk and floor. Jeanine scuffled inside and apologised, picking up all the papers and putting them in a draw. There was a double bed in the corner and I guessed that all three of us would sleeping there.

"Sorry. Looks like it is going to be tight. Are you okay with sharing a bed?" Jeanine said.

"Yeah I went through Dauntless initiation remember." I said, laughing.

"Oh, sorry how could how forget. I knew there had to be someway that you managed to kick my ass rather spectacularly." She replied chuckling.

We both laughed for a moment before Emily started speaking, "Mummy, Mummy, I'm hungry." She whined.

"Ok Breakfast will be in five minutes." Jeanine said, glancing at the clock.

"You should probably get changed." I said looking over the mess that was standing in front of me. "Prison did not serve you well."

"Yeah I probably should." Jeanine said, laughing.

She walked over to the wardrobe and picked out a navy-blue skirt, a white top and a blue blazer and went into the bathroom to get changed. I looked around absolutely bewildered by the amount of personal belongings Jeanine had here. From a quick glance at her house I could interpret that the majority of personal items were Carla's or Emily's but here everything was Jeanine's. From pictures on the walls to what even looked like a diary that I wouldn't dare to read, this was Jeanine's. Judging by the pictures she hadn't changed too much, same almost white blonde hair only it was much shorter back then (I guess she has never liked long hair), same watery grey eyes that give away so much and so little at the same time and the same smile that made you feel safe and afraid all at once.

Jeanine returned from the bathroom looking way more presentable than before. She kept playing with her hair that now cascaded down her shoulders and you could tell that it was pissing her off. Erudites are very peculiar in the fact that they want to look presentable but don't really want to put any effort into it due to it distracting them from their work. Jeanine really was the definition of the perfect Erudite and no one could take that away from her no matter how much they hated her.

I laughed at her frustration and she just shot me a glare that sent extremely mixed messages.

"Pissing you off is it." I said playfully.

"I swear to God I am going to find some scissors and cut it myself in a minute." Jeanine muttered.

"Well I think you look beautiful." I replied laughing.

"Breakfastttt!" Emily screamed, excitedly.

Jeanine just laughed and picked up her daughter whilst gesturing for me to follow her.

We walked down several corridors until we came across two grand doors and Jeanine pushed them open. As soon as we walked in, cheering erupted and Emily began to jump around in fear and excitement. Jeanine just stood their shocked, grateful and self-conscious. She was like some sort of god to them and they were all over the moon to see her again.

Finally, Jeanine built up the courage to say thank you and we proceeded further into the dining room. Eventually Jeanine spotted Alex who had saved seats for us.

She patted Jeanine on the back and laughed "Wasn't expecting that was you."

Jeanine sighed and said, "Well it's a nice change that here they celebrate me entering a room alive rather than my head being carried through."

It made me sad that Jeanine thought like that despite me knowing that what she said was true.

Alex sighed and smiled knowingly. She looked down at Emily who was holding onto Jeanine like she was her life line. She patted her lap and after a little apprehension Emily crawled onto it.

We ate and retired back to our room.


End file.
